I spent decades at war with my body.
It showed up mostly as a battle with my weight.
I tried all sorts of diets: Slim fast, counting calories, low-fat, cabbage soup, juicing, cutting entire macronutrients, and anything else you can imagine.
In the process, I lost trust in my own body .
I used to think there was something wrong with my body, and that I had to “try harder.”
I oscillated between “ideal weight,” overweight, and too thin.
Emotionally, I was in a rollercoaster too.
I hated my body when I was overweight. My body was the enemy, something I had to subdue.
When I was thin, I was initially thrilled, and then petrified by the fear of gaining the weight back.
I don’t remember ever loving my body even when I was thin. But I remember loving the image in the mirror.
I don’t remember how my body felt internally.
I only related to my body in terms of its appearance.
That path was full of pain, made me sick, and robbed me of energy and bandwidth.
But I was able to come back from it all.
I learned to nourish my body and give it the movement and rest it needs.
I learned how to eat to maintain a healthy weight without feeling deprived.
I learned what else I was “carrying” along with the extra weight.
I learned to trust myself.
I learned to live with confidence and joy in my own body.
I’m curious, how’s your relationship with your body? Is it your ally? Do you trust it? Does it trust you? How do you work on your relationship with your body?