When the next step is foggy

Recently, I had the opportunity to get coached by Martha Beck, one of my mentors.

Martha, a Harvard sociologist, has been called America’s best-known life coach, and she is a former columnist and guest for Oprah’s magazine and show, respectively.

I’m working on her master coach program, and part of our curriculum includes getting coached by Martha on our ideal coaching scenario.

We talked about my next step as a coach. “I know I want more variety and stimulation in my coaching career,” I said, “but I’m a bit confused.” “I keep coming back to creating a podcast since I have radio experience,” I added.

She asked me to “say more.”

“I loved the creativity of putting a show together and being able to connect with pundits, artists, and ‘regular’ people,” I said, while I connected with the energy of my radio days. “But I wonder if I keep going back to the idea of a podcast because it’s what I know,” I added.

She reminded me there’s nothing wrong with that. “Never stop doing what you love,” she said. “There is a reason that you did that, and you loved it.”

Immediately, I felt a surge of energy. It was as if somebody was giving me “permission” to do what brings me joy. My peers at the Zoom call noticed it too. They told me they’d never seen me so alive.

It’s interesting to notice how our mind tells us lies we believe.

I’m a communicator, teacher, and coach. I don’t have to choose one or follow any molds. I’m unique. The same way you are unique.

At times, I suspect what I want, but it shows up as “I’m confused.” Maybe you can relate.

In the book “The Language of Emotions,” Karla McLaren says confusion is a mask for fear.

As it turns out, I do have fears regarding creating a podcast: “Where do I start? What about the technical aspect? Spanish or English? Would it take up too much of my time? Would I enjoy it? Would anybody care?”

“Don’t rush to create,” Martha said, understanding my tendency to jump to action (or at least think I have to jump to action). She suggested I allow myself time to dream it first by creating a vision board where I can progressively get excited about the project and see the possibilities.

I immediately felt my body relax.

I’m going to follow Martha’s advice.  I’m going to “dream and scheme” the possibilities, clarify how to best contribute and what brings me joy, while taking the pressure off.

Like most in our culture, I have the tendency to pressure myself with having to “do,” but jumping to action isn’t always the solution.

In my experience, the invitation of the state of confusion is counter-culture. It says slow down, notice, find the fear, allow, imagine, and ultimately do what makes you feel alive.